Started the new job at D&BCC Monday. And thus far, it’s wonderful. I already love most of the people I work with. The work will be tough, but at the end of the day, the money I make is going to set me up for a LONG time to come.
I’m finding this new schedule is AWESOME. I get up in the morning, shower, clean, pack lunch, etc. Then I go for a run at lunch time. Then after work I can make a nice dinner, hang out with friends, read, work around the house, work out more… And I’m not too tired at the end of my day.
Went to see “Eat, Pray, Love” with some girl friends last night. Cried some (especially at the wedding/divorce parts). The movie was only okay (Julia Roberts was less than impressive, Javier Bardem phones in his performance, and James Franco just plays himself), but it was nice to be reminded of what I loved about the book. When taken as a “female empowerment” cliche, the book and the movie can be viewed as so incredibly cheesy. And part of me bristles when women gush about how much they just looooved the book.
To me, the experience of reading that book was intensely personal. I wouldn’t really talk about it with anyone. No one will ever get to read my copy because the margins are torn up with notes. She was talking about MY divorce, MY fears, MY insecurities, MY heartbreak, MY Italy, MY meditation, MY self-acceptance. To me the book wasn’t about a general way to Love or to Pray or a cliched new-age-y “quest”. It wasn’t about selfishness, like a lot of the critics have been bashing it for. Granted, she totally glosses over the ridiculous perks of being a WASPy writer with a book advance which gave her the chance to take such a trip. However, to me, Gilbert’s true insight was in her discussions about healing and discovering oneself after the intense self-destruction of divorce. There is power in learning how to forgive yourself for making mistakes that you thought were the right decision at the time. Every description of how she felt during her divorce were so spot on for how I have been feeling for years. I don’t understand how anyone who hasn’t been through a divorce could say that the way she reacted was or wasn’t appropriate. But it doesn’t make the intense self-excavation and reinvention after divorce any less poignant or necessary. And some of the things she discusses/did have been encouraging for me as I try to figure out how to be happy/forgive myself. And accepting that it is OKAY for me to be as happy as I am right now.
And by God, I am SO HAPPY! I love my new apartment. I love the vibe of downtown Greensboro. I really like this new job. I love my friends. I love spending time with whom I want, when I want. I love that traveling is no longer a far off goal, but something I could start as soon as October (Will wants me to come see him in Amsterdam, and Abby is moving to Ireland in September). My Italy might not be such a distant dream.
